So I think it’s time get real…like REAL with myself. These past 3 weeks have been anything but easy. Anything but normal. I wish I could say it was a good thing entirely…there were definitely good things that have and will continue to come from this experience. But I’ve also come to realize so many things–that aren’t necessarily bad–but awakening. Most especially, my compassion for others. Yeah, I have compassion, but I feel like it only runs so deep right now. That I’m compassionate only when it’s convenient, or “the right thing to do”. Well, I think compassion lives in many avenues of life, and it is always in life. Whether I’m alone or in a room full of people, being compassionate towards those around me means trying to understand where they are coming from, what they’re going through, and dealing with. Compassion for me means to step it up–to kick it up a notch. So, what does a truly compassionate person look like, breathe like, feel like? After 25 is over, how will I be different? Well, the “different” will start now.
In the book conveniently titled Compassion, it’s said that “Compassion requires us to be weak with the weak, vulnerable with the vulnerable, and powerless with the powerless. Compassion means full immersion in the condition of being human.” So, what does that mean for me? I’m human. I realize I’m also selfish, sometimes selfless, compassionate, but also cold, sympathetic, but also self-centered. I’ve spent so many years of my life being excited to build relationships and to get to know other people. But, often I fail to take the time to think about others; whether I want to be friends with them, engage in a simple conversation, or if they are someone with whom I should be mindful. I have found myself rarely taking the time to reflect with those around me; what their story is, where they come from, what sorrows or grief they may be going through. It eats me alive to realize that my own selfishness. Its taken the past 23 days to bring about these real thoughts.
I cannot count the times I’ve looked at our contributions list and wondered why more people haven’t supported this amazing cause. And now I think on the opposite side of the coin, “Logan, how many causes have you looked at, been approached about, or known people involved with, and not been supportive?” The fact of the matter is we will put a priority on what we care most about in a day, a week, or a lifetime. It doesn’t mean people are more or less selfish, more or less genuine, but not everyone is able to be what I want them to be; and I need to let that go. I need to have compassion and understanding toward those around me. I need to give grace to everyone I come in contact with. Grace, along with compassion, has the potential to truly help me turn my world from one of self-centeredness to a more global perspective. I truly feel that grace and compassion need to be reintroduced on a much stronger, more intense level in my life. Of course there are other things I can, and will start to work on, but for starters, as the appetizer of this transformation: grace and compassion.
I have sat at a lot of meals these last few weeks watching friends and family enjoy delicious meals, and could not help but envy over what they had which I didn’t.. Homemade spaghetti, a perfectly prepared steak, a fresh salad, or a crisp cocktail–all just look amazing–so close, yet so far away. And, sitting there, I felt both isolated and almost tortured. I realized how many farmers around the world harvest bountiful crops of fruits and vegetables, but will never be able to taste them. They see so much food, yet eat so very little of it. It has been recently that I’ve come to grips with this sickening reality. It is now that I feel maybe a glimpse of what so many around the world feel all the time. Isolated. Tortured. Hungry. I continue to try to relate, to feel compassion for others, and I somehow feel just a little more connected to them since this realization has set in.